Not all change is “aha’s” and improvement hacks.
Anyone who’s been deep in the trenches of changing something you thought was at the very core of your being knows this to be true.
My current wrangle? Oh just my general indoctrination in productivity and how to build an entire life on rebellious living instead of external results and production.
It’s a mess and a mind-fuck.
The remnants of my previous reality are floating around in my every day life like a stark warning light saying “fix me now!”. And through the disparity between the old warning lights and the just-barely-alive-just-starting-to-glow-inklings-of-new-possibility – I am finding my way.
So it’s clear as mud.
That’s what that pretty paragraph above says.
The thing is, this is normal. This is “the work” worth doing.
You don’t get new possibilities and ways of being without destroying and uncreating the old.
So right now, I’m creating the art of my life and it’s weird.
I’m at that messy stage of the Creative Process where no-one including me knows what it’s truly going to turn out like.
What I do know is this:
Each choice I make is creating the future I desire.
The stark difference between what used to work and what might work now is super helpful.
You don’t have to chuck out everything to start afresh, that’s the gift of extrapolation.
It’s ok if you don’t know what you know temporarily.
You will know again.
So here’s a Creative Process for going through deep change that is causing your brain extreme levels of grief and haze:
Mind-Fuckery Creative Process
Acknowledge the mess
Know that it is about to get messier, embrace it and acknowledge the haze that’s there.
Get it out
Write, speak, voice, or express in some way what is going on. It’s not going to be clear or exact. If you do this with a support buddy, make sure they know they are not to engage, fix, help in any way. Because what you say may not actually be what’s true for you. But it’s got to get out to get better.
Highlight what’s new
Have a look at what you now know that’s different. Highlight the new possibilities or awareness you have so you can get more of a sense of that on its own. You could write it down, say it out loud, print it out even and put it somewhere you can see it.
Clear the space
When you’re decluttering your very way of functioning, there’s gotta be a way to let it go. Clear a space of time in your schedule just to be, do something to up your self-care, or do one of your favorite activities for processing change.
I know this is a huge ask. We’re some of the most impatient, and fast-moving people on the planet. Don’t rush is not the same as slow down. What I’m inviting you to here, is to explore this change with presence. There is no finish line to cross, or target of when to complete this. The more you relax, the easier it will flow.
True and messy change is hard. It’s not for the faint of heart, especially when it’s challenging something you thought was essential to who you be. But going through this exploration doesn’t have to make it harder.
In fact, by willing to go deeper, you may find it gets easier.
Wouldn’t that be the irony?
So try it out.
Go deep, get vulnerable.
And let yourself be a mess.
And uncover the gift, the beautiful energy underneath that.
Be what you crave. Create rituals that support the wild, wonderful changes you desire to create in your life. Check out Rebellious Rituals for a real, vulnerable guide to start your day that doesn’t require consistency.