Oooh I have an idea!
Holy shit can I really do that?
That can’t be right, surely it’s been done before.
Nope it hasn’t
Is it really that different? That good.
Runs it by countless friends and peers
They haven’t heard anything like it
Do the thing – the idea whispers
But am I made of the right talents? Your doubts whisper back
You forget about it
Or try to
Push that shit back to the depths of your sub consciousness
This is not for me
That decision doesn’t stick
You wake up at 3 fucking am
Play with me it shouts
You give in
You start working, it’s light, it’s freeing, it’s fun
You get momentum
You see what someone else is doing and compare
Yours is weirder
You let that comparison sink in
It leeches poison into your work
But the idea teases you back into the groove
You get back to work
You get new ideas
New temptations come to visit
You get distracted
You overcomplicate your original idea by trying to make all your ideas just one conglomeration of things.
You don’t want to give up all the things
You keep going
It’s getting harder now
But more is coming to fruition, you can feel it now.
Then all of a sudden, it disappears
Where the fuck did it go you lament?
You call after your idea
It whispers back, I’m still here, I’m growing my own wings
You mourn the beginning process is over.
You go do other things while you wait
You hope your idea isn’t too changed when it comes back
You keep doing errands, trying to distract your busy mind.
The idea revives!
But you feel like you’re meeting for the first time again
Are you still you?
Am I still me?
The answer to both is no.
So you both say Hi again.
And are relieved that you can still meet, like lovers who have’t embraced in years.
It feels good, it feels home,
You ask what now?
And get back to work.
It feels different this time.
The temptation to stay in idea-land grows stronger
You want to doubt each new choice you have to make together.
This pathway or that.
You vow to stick together, see this through.
Say no to all the shiny things
They are very shiny.
You be brave.
You make the choices.
You come across a cruz point.
You want to ask everyone to make the choice for you.
What do you think? You chatter incessantly
The idea waits patiently
Waiting for you to remember your knowing.
And you do.
It’s quieter than before because of the chatter.
But it’s still there.
You know it’s weirder than before.
Is it too weird?
Maybe it’s just weird enough.
You decide fuck it
ASnd keep moving forward.
Moving is better than staying.
It brings some relief.
You keep creating, actualizing the fruition.
It’s so close.
You can taste it now.
Like summer harvest,
But there’s more hard choice to come.
You know you can do it now.
And your friend the idea, becomes more and more real.
It’s almost a dance now.
You ask, it responds.
You listen, it contributes.
You don’t want this to end.
You delay the final choices.
Taking longer, antagonizing.
Enjoying the process
You don’t want to miss this idea.
You long for more time.
The temptation to complicate ushers itself back in.
You show it the door.
There are more ideas waiting.
Not so patiently.
Keep going they say.
Your idea will still be there, in a different form.
You make the final push.
You mourn the creative process.
But rejoice in the celebration of making things.
That’s what we do.
Make all the things.
Weird, wild, never before things
That pick us to create them.
You hold your creation in your hand.
Meeting again, like for the first time.
I can’t believe you’re real you think.
It says “Hi again”
And you know,
You can make more things soon.
But not now.
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